(tune: "Jingle Bells")

Dashing all through space
The TARDIS is our guide
It may not get us where we want
But it's one hell of a ride!

The Daleks chase us here
The Time Lords leave us there
The Master's tried to kill us all
Oh, life just isn't fair!

Oh, TARDIS bells, cloister bells
Ringing "Danger's near"
But sometimes we just want to look
For a pub, and a pint of beer!