The Grand Old Captain Kirk

(tune: "The Grand Old Duke of York")

O, the grand old Captain Kirk
He has five hundred men
He beamed them up to the Enterprise
And he beamed them down again
And when they were up they were up (stand up)
And when they were down they were down (squat down)
And when they were only half way up (hover half way)
They were nowhere to be found (stand up, squat down quickly)